LVI. The Wrath of Aladdin
When I was a young child, I was not allowed to watch fantasy movies or any movies from the magical world of Disney. Perhaps my parents reasoning was because I was terrified of them and would start talking in tongue afterwards. I was in therapy for quite some time when I was younger, but that’s neither here nor there.
The real reason was born with the death of my childhood friend, Carmen Hulgernorf. Carmen was an overweight child with an oddly shaped head. For some unknown reason, Carmen had difficulty with his vision due to his crossed eyes. He had self-induced brain damage from running square into walls for the beginning of his short life.
Very unattractive and socially awkward, Carmen was always the receiver of harsh words and jokes. Yeah, kids used to really whoop ol' Carmen's ass. Despite his hardships, he trucked on for one reason and one reason only. Mr. Walt Disney's imagination changed Carmen. On Saturday afternoons while the other kids were outside playing and swimming, Carmen would sit in front of the TV and watch Disney movies and eat pounds of chocolate. Due to his lack of vision, he would sit real close to the screen and I tell you it was magic. Carmen's eyes would straighten and start to glow. I would sit with him on occasion just to see the change in him. It was truly inspiring.
Well, Carmen started to act very oddly when away from the movies after a 2-month binger in front of the TV. He started talking to the Disney movie characters like they were really alive well after the movies were over. At nights, he would wake up screaming that Bambi was about to die. I started to put a little space between Carmen and myself. I hate myself for it to this day.
One rainy day, I was walking back from school and noticed a crowd gathering at Carmen's house. I jogged up to the crowd only to notice that Carmen was standing on the roof. I yelled, "Hey Carmen, get off the damn roof!" I had just picked up using profanity at the time because I heard the older kids using dirty language. Carmen yelled, "OK, here I come!"
Shockingly, Carmen jumped off that roof and for a split second I thought he was flying.
NO, he fell like a rock, wrapped in some sort of cloth, and landed with an unpleasant thud. We later found out he was killed on impact. I ran to his body and found him smiling and wrapped in a rug. The scene was very weird. My friend was dead and wrapped in a damn oriental rug.
I asked his mom where he had been and she said he had been locked in his room for 8 straight days, so I ran in his house and up to his room. There, playing on the TV for the last eight days straight, was Aladdin himself flying on a Magic Carpet ride. I have never hated a cartoon that much in my life. Aladdin stole my little, awkward, ugly yet gentle friend. And that damn Walt Disney guy can go to hell for all I care.
I was in therapy for a little while after that because I was caught drawing a picture of the Princess raping Aladdin, but to this day I don’t think I have ever recovered.
To Carmen...
The real reason was born with the death of my childhood friend, Carmen Hulgernorf. Carmen was an overweight child with an oddly shaped head. For some unknown reason, Carmen had difficulty with his vision due to his crossed eyes. He had self-induced brain damage from running square into walls for the beginning of his short life.
Very unattractive and socially awkward, Carmen was always the receiver of harsh words and jokes. Yeah, kids used to really whoop ol' Carmen's ass. Despite his hardships, he trucked on for one reason and one reason only. Mr. Walt Disney's imagination changed Carmen. On Saturday afternoons while the other kids were outside playing and swimming, Carmen would sit in front of the TV and watch Disney movies and eat pounds of chocolate. Due to his lack of vision, he would sit real close to the screen and I tell you it was magic. Carmen's eyes would straighten and start to glow. I would sit with him on occasion just to see the change in him. It was truly inspiring.
Well, Carmen started to act very oddly when away from the movies after a 2-month binger in front of the TV. He started talking to the Disney movie characters like they were really alive well after the movies were over. At nights, he would wake up screaming that Bambi was about to die. I started to put a little space between Carmen and myself. I hate myself for it to this day.
One rainy day, I was walking back from school and noticed a crowd gathering at Carmen's house. I jogged up to the crowd only to notice that Carmen was standing on the roof. I yelled, "Hey Carmen, get off the damn roof!" I had just picked up using profanity at the time because I heard the older kids using dirty language. Carmen yelled, "OK, here I come!"
Shockingly, Carmen jumped off that roof and for a split second I thought he was flying.
NO, he fell like a rock, wrapped in some sort of cloth, and landed with an unpleasant thud. We later found out he was killed on impact. I ran to his body and found him smiling and wrapped in a rug. The scene was very weird. My friend was dead and wrapped in a damn oriental rug.
I asked his mom where he had been and she said he had been locked in his room for 8 straight days, so I ran in his house and up to his room. There, playing on the TV for the last eight days straight, was Aladdin himself flying on a Magic Carpet ride. I have never hated a cartoon that much in my life. Aladdin stole my little, awkward, ugly yet gentle friend. And that damn Walt Disney guy can go to hell for all I care.
I was in therapy for a little while after that because I was caught drawing a picture of the Princess raping Aladdin, but to this day I don’t think I have ever recovered.
To Carmen...
posted by Ivan Drago at 1:49 PM
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