VII. A Lesson from My Father
If you're anything like me, you sometimes wish that your life had a soundtrack. It could happen at any time, from listening to "Thriller" as I walk down the street, or "Wicked Game"/"Secret Garden" while doing the naked passion dance. I think that it would enhance life all around. This is because I view music as a medicine for the soul. Sometimes it just seems that music would fit so well, that I am almost upset that there is none. The moment I am about to tell you about, is not one of those times.....or maybe it is....I don't really know....I'll let you decide that for yourself.
Since I do not have a younger brother, I think I may be in a rush to be a father. I have so much wisdom to pass to someone younger than me, so that they may not make the mistakes I made and will continue to make. I don't mean that I want to seriously have a kid, I just want to be a mentor to someone who looks up to me.
I think I know exactly where this inspiration comes from. I have always looked up to my father. He's what you would call a man about town. He fancies the finer things in life - to live, love, and laugh in the company of those he holds most dear. But at the same time, he views all with an inspective eye, a distrustful eye. Because you see, he does not even trust himself. Sometimes he would say to me "Listen, my boy" and I would reply "yes Papa." "Keep your friends close, but your enemies even closer. And keep yourself closest!" That didn't make much sense to me, but he got a real kick out of it.
One day he awoke me from bed at roughly 4:30 AM (which he tended to do quite often) and he said to me, "Son, today you learn how to shave...today, you learn how to be a man!" I was beside myself with excitement as we went into the bathroom and applied the rich Gillette foam to our faces. As he began to show me how to shave, stroke-by-stroke, hair by hair, I had to ask him the burning question, "Father, why do you shave?" He chuckled with amusement and replied, "well my son, to see myself bleed of course." I was quite appalled by this, which he could tell, so he went on, "You see, I used to do it only to release the thousands of demons living under the surface of my skin. But after I cut myself enough times, I began to like the sensation of seeing my own blood course out of my body. It gives me such pleasure."
Of course I found what he was saying to be a bit odd, but he was my father, and I trusted his judgment. So I, beginning at age 10, began shaving every morning to see myself bleed. That was until the unfortunate day when my mother found me passed out on the floor of my bathroom and I had to go to the hospital from a loss blood. When I came to, my mother asked me what the hell a 10-year-old boy was shaving for. I told her that I had begun to love to see myself bleed like my beloved father does. Well, it wasn't even a week before my father was admitted to an insane asylum to cure his "problem" as she called it.
But I think that in the end, my father was right: it is good to see yourself bleed. For if you do not test yourself to see that you are alive, you will be dead before you know it....or maybe he was just insane
Since I do not have a younger brother, I think I may be in a rush to be a father. I have so much wisdom to pass to someone younger than me, so that they may not make the mistakes I made and will continue to make. I don't mean that I want to seriously have a kid, I just want to be a mentor to someone who looks up to me.
I think I know exactly where this inspiration comes from. I have always looked up to my father. He's what you would call a man about town. He fancies the finer things in life - to live, love, and laugh in the company of those he holds most dear. But at the same time, he views all with an inspective eye, a distrustful eye. Because you see, he does not even trust himself. Sometimes he would say to me "Listen, my boy" and I would reply "yes Papa." "Keep your friends close, but your enemies even closer. And keep yourself closest!" That didn't make much sense to me, but he got a real kick out of it.
One day he awoke me from bed at roughly 4:30 AM (which he tended to do quite often) and he said to me, "Son, today you learn how to shave...today, you learn how to be a man!" I was beside myself with excitement as we went into the bathroom and applied the rich Gillette foam to our faces. As he began to show me how to shave, stroke-by-stroke, hair by hair, I had to ask him the burning question, "Father, why do you shave?" He chuckled with amusement and replied, "well my son, to see myself bleed of course." I was quite appalled by this, which he could tell, so he went on, "You see, I used to do it only to release the thousands of demons living under the surface of my skin. But after I cut myself enough times, I began to like the sensation of seeing my own blood course out of my body. It gives me such pleasure."
Of course I found what he was saying to be a bit odd, but he was my father, and I trusted his judgment. So I, beginning at age 10, began shaving every morning to see myself bleed. That was until the unfortunate day when my mother found me passed out on the floor of my bathroom and I had to go to the hospital from a loss blood. When I came to, my mother asked me what the hell a 10-year-old boy was shaving for. I told her that I had begun to love to see myself bleed like my beloved father does. Well, it wasn't even a week before my father was admitted to an insane asylum to cure his "problem" as she called it.
But I think that in the end, my father was right: it is good to see yourself bleed. For if you do not test yourself to see that you are alive, you will be dead before you know it....or maybe he was just insane
posted by Max Rays at 11:28 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home