II. Lightning Strikes Once for Patton Chambliss
In my younger days I was considered somewhat of a jokester, a real "cut up" if you will. I would venture to say that this is still the case. However, if I am, it is certainly of a different breed. I attribute this to an event that occurred to me roughly 8 years ago to the day. When I was 14 years old, in the summer before I started at Little Rock Catholic High School, I did what I had become accustomed to for several years. I would meet up with three of my closest friends and play a round of golf in the early afternoon. Sometimes, we would even play 2 in one day.
We were an enthusiastic bunch, myself and my 3 friends Taylor, Ben, and an overweight fellow named Patton Chambliss. He was not a "lady-killer" by any means. In fact, I would go so far as to say that he was unfortunate looking in every way you could imagine. However, he had a zest for life and a pleasant demeanor that would cheer you up in the most dreary of situations.
One day, the four of us were out playing golf when a pretty strong storm came, which was not uncommon during those humid and warm summer months. When the lightning and thunder came, and the sirens warned us to seek shelter, so we did just that. Since we were too young to drive golf-carts, we had no way of getting back to the clubhouse quickly enough to avoid the storm. So we sought out one of the many wooden sheds near the tee box on the course. This was always I time that I would hate, but relish at the same time. Though we were stopped from playing, some of the best conversations I ever had with my friends took place during such events.
I remember on that day, June 12th, specifically because of the conversation I had with Patton. When lightning began to strike, he told me about how badly he needed to use the restroom. I told him to simply hold it, because the storm would quickly subside. It was to this point that he returned my suggestions with some of the most important words that I have ever heard in my life and carry with me to this day. He looked me in the eye and said "Apollo, do you know what the difference is between plexiglass and flexiglass?" I didn’t know how to respond, so all I could say was "no Patton, I have no idea." He looked at me, as with a great deal of amusement in his eyes, and said "Neither do I, and you know what? I don't care to know." Needless to say we both had a good laugh.
Then he stood up, walked out into the rain, unzipped his pants and began relieving himself. No more than 10 seconds after he walked out of that shed, a furious bolt of lightning struck him right before my very eyes. I was so stunned at the sight of the thousands of volts of electricity coursing through his portly body that I fainted. When I awoke, he was still on the ground and Taylor and Ben were trying to revive him.
As it turned out, the bolt of lightning did not in fact kill my good friend. He was hospitalized for 3 days and when we finally came to see him and take him home from the hospital, I swear he had never been happier to see anyone in his life. Well we took him out of the hospital in a wheelchair, which he would need for several more days because of the muscle trauma he had suffered. On our way out to his parents' car, we were laughing and cracking jokes like we had always done when we came a stop sign which I managed to not see when out of nowhere a city bus with a far too negligent driver hit my friend and his wheelchair, killing him on impact.
We were an enthusiastic bunch, myself and my 3 friends Taylor, Ben, and an overweight fellow named Patton Chambliss. He was not a "lady-killer" by any means. In fact, I would go so far as to say that he was unfortunate looking in every way you could imagine. However, he had a zest for life and a pleasant demeanor that would cheer you up in the most dreary of situations.
One day, the four of us were out playing golf when a pretty strong storm came, which was not uncommon during those humid and warm summer months. When the lightning and thunder came, and the sirens warned us to seek shelter, so we did just that. Since we were too young to drive golf-carts, we had no way of getting back to the clubhouse quickly enough to avoid the storm. So we sought out one of the many wooden sheds near the tee box on the course. This was always I time that I would hate, but relish at the same time. Though we were stopped from playing, some of the best conversations I ever had with my friends took place during such events.
I remember on that day, June 12th, specifically because of the conversation I had with Patton. When lightning began to strike, he told me about how badly he needed to use the restroom. I told him to simply hold it, because the storm would quickly subside. It was to this point that he returned my suggestions with some of the most important words that I have ever heard in my life and carry with me to this day. He looked me in the eye and said "Apollo, do you know what the difference is between plexiglass and flexiglass?" I didn’t know how to respond, so all I could say was "no Patton, I have no idea." He looked at me, as with a great deal of amusement in his eyes, and said "Neither do I, and you know what? I don't care to know." Needless to say we both had a good laugh.
Then he stood up, walked out into the rain, unzipped his pants and began relieving himself. No more than 10 seconds after he walked out of that shed, a furious bolt of lightning struck him right before my very eyes. I was so stunned at the sight of the thousands of volts of electricity coursing through his portly body that I fainted. When I awoke, he was still on the ground and Taylor and Ben were trying to revive him.
As it turned out, the bolt of lightning did not in fact kill my good friend. He was hospitalized for 3 days and when we finally came to see him and take him home from the hospital, I swear he had never been happier to see anyone in his life. Well we took him out of the hospital in a wheelchair, which he would need for several more days because of the muscle trauma he had suffered. On our way out to his parents' car, we were laughing and cracking jokes like we had always done when we came a stop sign which I managed to not see when out of nowhere a city bus with a far too negligent driver hit my friend and his wheelchair, killing him on impact.
posted by Max Rays at 1:08 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home